Okay before I get bored with this concept again because of all the weird little boxes that blogspot keeps popping up at me I'm going to write something. I should probably start over, but for the amusement of seeing my first innocent post in which I actually thought I might write here, and I think I may have actually thought someone might ever read it. The thing is, if I start thinking someone might read this, particularly someone I actually know, I might start censoring myself. And that would suck for me, and make for boring posts. Not that it sucks if someone does actually read this someday, but, well, let's not belabor the point.
I am completely inept when it comes to the web other than wasting time by searching for random stuff, and checking the same sites 5 times a day. At those things I am a pro. Anyway, that's my warning. No graphics, no fancy designs, no text links. I know, I suck. A month ago I would have said its impossible that I will ever learn or try to. However, a month ago I had never attempted to do any computer work in a command line environment. Now that I have written pages of code for manipulating data and learned my basic UNIX commands and how to scoot my way around a server I admit that what I thought would be impossible isn't. Now each time I come across something in my job where I immediately say 'nope, not possible' I try to remind myself that I have said it many times in the past few weeks and it was never true. Sometimes it works. Sometimes I stare at a piece of code for a half hour, trying to make sense of all the \ / -b -o, etc. etc. getting progressively more and more depressed. But mainly I freak out if I see i and j. That means something doesn't just occur once, but will occur repeatedly using slightly different things. Yup, that's about my level of understanding and its enough to freak me out.
Okay, I love Apple (while not actually an obsessive fangirl, looking at my belongings you would think so: Macbook Air, Macbook Pro, iMac, iPhone, iPod, Shuffle, and an iPod Touch that I really need to sell, its still in the box). However, I am not wild about this new mouse. There are many fun things it does, but then it has a propensity to have a mind of its own as well. If I touch the mouse and my fingers move at the same time I'm on a different webpage. I try to reverse whatever I did, in a deliberate manner, and I can't do it. Needless to say, this just happened to me, a point which should probably be mentioned at some point otherwise that little bit there was a complete non sequitur.
I'm not going to ramble too too much here, because the idea is mostly just to say that I shall solemnly attempt to do better than to write 2 posts in 2 years. The trouble I think is that 10 ideas will come into my head at once, I can't pick one so I write none of them, and then the next day I will have no ideas at all. Pretty soon I just give up. The whole two posts 2 years ago is definitely a warning that this could stop all together again. At times my thoughts seem suited to a blog. Then I forget that the whole concept exists.
Except of course that I look at other blogs every day. Those however, tend to have a purpose, a topic which in some way interests me. I have no such topic. My work will tend to invade any posts, just as it invades and engulfs my life. I do research. I study psychiatry so sometimes my perspective on how the brain works, and particularly how it is modified by the various types of drugs we choose to apply to it, for fun or not, can be a little different. I'm too much of a nerd for normal, polite society, but not enough of one to actually do very well in work. This is a conundrum I am attempting to deal with.
Another peculiarity about me is that if you meet me, you would think I'm all set with social skills. I really do a pretty good job of coming off as warm and funny, nothing particularly annoying. However, I actually completely lack the most basic social skill of all, that of meeting people. I am at a complete loss as to how this happens for most people. It clearly does. I on the other hand meet only those who have no choice but to meet me. Otherwise there's just a sea of people out there and I am perpetually curious how they ever come into contact with one another, other than to, say, bump into one another and apologize. And when I lived in New York you could forget the apology.
So here's to take 2, let's see if I'm any good at this the second time around
